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3...2...1...HAPPY NEW YEAR BIG BALLERS!
Soon drunks around the globe will smash their sloppy, over poured champagne glasses into one another with puckered up lips, while pretending to know the words to Auld Lang Syne. New Year's Eve gives us all a free, no excuse necessary, reason to get completely blasted out of our minds. To most...it's the greatest night ever. To some...it's just another night where Ryan Seacrest is on television. Here are how some famous folks feel about this yearly celebration.


  1. “New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.” ~ Jay Leno
  2. "This year my New Year's resolution was to stop saying 'Seacrest out!' after I ejaculate." ~ Zach Galifiankis
  3. "People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas." ~ Anonymous
  4. "New Year's Day now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual." ~ Mark Twain
  5. "This New Year’s I resolve to be less awesome since that is really the only thing I do in excess." ~ Anonymous
  6. "It goes Christmas, New Year's Eve, and Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone? If you didn't get around to killing yourself on Christmas or New Year's, boom, there's Valentine's Day for you. There should be a holiday after Valentine's Day called 'Are you still here?'" ~ Laura Kightlinger
  7. "Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year's resolution." ~ Jay Leno
  8. "The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to." ~ P.J. O'Rourke
  9. "I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person." ~ Anonymous
  10. "What you do for Jewish New Year is you go down to Times Square... It's a lot quieter than the regular New Year. It's just a few Jews walking around going, 'sup?'" ~ John Stewart
CHEERS TO HEALTH, HAPPINESS, & PLENTY OF KICKBALL IN THE NEW YEAR!
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