Cold weather got you down? We completely understand. In unfortunate weather times such as these, it's important to remember that there are still some fun things to do right from the comfort of your own couch. You can always take a nap, watch a movie, turn all the lights on and pretend you're on a beach somewhere, or better yet you can drink until you can't feel feelings anymore. Here are some drunk happy quotes from famous folks to help you crack open your first beer tonight...

  1. “I got so wasted one night I waited for the stop sign to change, and it did.” ~ Steve Krabitz
  2. "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack Handy
  3. "I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.." ~ Joe E. Lewis
  4. "Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder." ~ Anonymous
  5. "Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time." ~ Catherine Zandonella
  6. "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.'" ~ Dave Barry
  7. "I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly . . . " ~ Ron Burgundy
  8. "It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth." ~ George Burns
  9. "I knew I was drunk. I felt sophisticated and couldn’t pronounce it." ~ Anonymous
  10. "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Henry Youngman
  11. "I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it." ~ Rodney Dangerfield
  12. "Drinking beer doesn’t make you fat; it makes you lean… against bars, tables, chairs, and poles." ~ Anonymous
  13. "Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy." ~ Frank Sinatra
  14. "Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer." ~ Al Bundy
  15. "God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world." ~ Ed McMahon
  16. "I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks." ~ Joe E. Lewis
  17. "I had to stop drinkin, cuz I got tired of waking up in my car driving ninety." ~ Richard Pryor
  18. "If you don't drink, then all of your stories suck and end with, -And then I go home-." ~ Jim Jefferies
  19. "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar." ~ Drew Carrey
  20. "Ah that’s just drunk talk, sweet beautiful drunk talk.'" ~ Homer Simpson
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