HOMERULESFIELD MAPSCHEDULEPLAYOFFSSTANDINGS
UP CLOSE & WAY TOO PERSONAL WITH DEVON COTTLE
At NACKA - our players make our league, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. No matter how you pack it in your pipe and smoke it...our players make our league dang awesome. To celebrate those who participate in our kickball kingdom, we are going to periodically profile a willing player to highlight on our website. We want to give our visitors what they want...and what they want is the chance to get to know our players on an intimate level that is touching on scary and crossing over to disturbing. FYI: By "highlight" we mean victimize...and by "willing" we mean kidnap and roofie.

Players Name: Devon Cottle
Team Name: Ladybugs (Devon is a super softee...much like an actual ladybug)
Fielding Position: "A sexy rover"
Age: 32
Years Playing with NACKA: 4 years
Occupation: Sex Therapist
NACKA Description in One Word: "Uh......short-shorts? On men?" (Why can't anyone grasp the "one word" concept?)
Self Description in One Word: "Uh......................ultimate?" (Ultimate what? Ultimate ninja warrior? Ultimate chocolate chip cookie? Don't leave us hanging!)


Q: Do you use hashtags?

A: "Of course."

(What Devon really meant to say was, #OfCourseIUseHashtags #AllTheCoolKidsAreDoingIt #IHaveMoreFollowersThanYou #IHopeTheKardashiansReadThis #JustSayin)

Q: If we took a look inside your fridge, what would we find?

A: "Ummm...a six pack of Palm Breeze and brick cheese"

(Yes this combination sounds a wee bit date rape-ish, but more importantly...with this kind of fridge stock, how does Devon keeps his girlish figure so trim? #Jealous #DoesThisCheeseTasteFunnyToYou.)

Q: What's your guilty pleasure snack?

A: "Uh...uh...uh...I don't know...cheese?"

(There's nothing like drowning your sorrows in a family pack of Poly-O String Cheese after a really bad break-up...#SaidNobodyEVER.)

Q: What do you like to do when you're not playing kickball?

A: "Body shots."

(Body shots of Palm Breeze? I hope you're insured Devon...cause you're living life on the edge. #Wuss.)

Q: What's the worst name you've ever been called?

A: "Danny Christner."

(Danny Christner is a close second. But the worst name we've ever been called is Devon Cottle. #PrettyPervsDoExist.)

Q: What's something you absolutely hate doing?

A: "Danny Christner."

(This seems to be a common answer among a lot of people. Trending now...#1MinuteOfPleasure #DoTheseTwoFingersSmellWierd.)

Q: If you were able to change your name, what would you change it to?

A: "David Hasselhoff."

(I'm sure "The Hoff" would change his name to Devon Cottle if given the chance too! #KeepDreamingBayWatchBoy)

Q: What was the last movie that made you cry?

A: "Beaches with Bette Midler."

(#BetteMidlerIsTheWindBeneathMyWings #RealMenDon'tCry #ImCuttingAnOnion #IJustHaveSomethingInMyEye.)

Q: If you were immortal for one day, what would you want to do?

A: "Um...I'd drink like a keg of beer."

(By "drink" Devon meant "sip". By "keg" Devon meant "glass". And by beer Devon meant "white wine spritzer". #BeerMakesMeFeelBloated.)

Q: When was the last time you had an amazing meal?

A: "Today. I had a hot dog for national hot dog day."

(Hot dogs, Palm Breeze AND block cheese??!! Prepare to be wined & dined by this dashing romeo ladies. #SwipeLeftOnTinder #RedFlagsEverywhere.)

(We like to use hashtags too!)


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