Drunk and Looking to Score vs. C U Next Thursday
Sahlen Stadium Field #2
Thursday, July 23rd 8:15PM
Drunk and Looking to Score
Team Captain: Alex O'Brien
Team Sponsor: The Winton
Captain's Strategy: "Playing tough defense and scoring a little bit of runs...that's all we do. That's it."
C U Next Thursday
Team Captain: Erik Miles
Team Sponsor: JD Oxfords & Lakesiders
Captain's Strategy: "Um...drink and have fun. That's the strategy."
It was a stellar summer night for a kickball showdown to be played at the Jersey Shore...er' we mean Sahlen Stadium on Thursday. Gym, Tan, Laundry...Kickball!
The 1st Inning:
Rihanna serenaded the crowd with her toxic Barbadian voice as C U Next Thursday staggered out to take the field for the start of the game. First kick, a line drive to the pitcher. Second kick, out at first. Third kick, a bomb diggity to center resulting in a triple. With a runner in scoring position, the Drunks had their sights on bringing home the bacon during the next play. Unfortunately, C U must be vegetarians because a fly out to center had Drunk & Looking to Score changing their team name to Ashamed & Looking to Move.
Resembling the entire Jersey Shore cast circa 2009, the Ashamed Drunks took their positions in the field for the bottom of the 1st. The first kick of the inning had a Pauly D first baseman flipping over the Bill Gray's sign on the sideline in an attempt to catch a foul ball. Too bad all that hoopla resulted in nothing more than skin bruising and flash. After a quick argument over a runner being safe on first, the inning ended in three more kicks. Side retired.
The 2nd Inning:
Drunk & Looking to Score tightened their sweatbands around their foreheads and pumped their fists before smashing some balls for the top half of the inning. Their greased up locks must have intimidated C U Next Thursday something fierce, as they completely tanked in the field. Like seriously tanked. Riddle: How many C U Next Thursday teammates does it take to drop a fly ball? Three. Three was the number we were looking for here. A bunt, a grounder to left, and a dropped ball in center allowed 2 runs to score and left the bases loaded. After a vomited mass of errors made by everyone on the blue team, the inning ended with the Drunks scoring 6 runs. A pathetic showing by blue in the field.
Looking to put some numbers up on the score board, C U Next Thursday polished off their Labatt's, danced a jig to Pitbull, and laced up their turf shoes. A double to right, a bunt, and a fielding error brought home a run within the first 3 kicks of the inning. Another foul ball down the first baseline had Pauly D tangled up in the Bill Grays sign for the second time of the game. Runners at first and third. After a quick fly out to short, Pauly D was at it again. Only this time the Radisson hotel sign took its revenge by injuring Pauly, retiring him from kickball and forcing him back into the underground DJ world. Inning over 6-1 Drunks.
The 3rd Inning:
Back in the field, C U Next Thursday was on a mission to stop the Drunks from putting up any more runs. Buuuuut, due to a ridiculous amount of errors (shocker), the drunks stretched a single to first into a stand up triple. Three more runs where quickly brought in after a kicked double, a long shot to center, and a bunch more E's (again...shocker). 9-1 Drunk & Looking to Score. Related note: Blue is a disaster in the field if you aren't picking up on this while reading.
Not much excitement during the bottom of the 3rd, except for the fact that Pauly D is off the D.L. and back at first. Three kicks + three outs = blue balls for C U Next Thursday.
The 4th Inning:
The Drunks lived up to their names during the start of the 4th...slamming more Blue Light cans on the sidelines than Kid Rock in a poker game. Quickly fast forward to 2 outs with bases loaded...a line drive to second, combined with "SPOILER ALERT": an embarrassing number or errors in the field, resulted in three runs being put up on the board before the final out was made. FYI: If Hollywood had watched this game before hand, they would have based the movie "Trainwreck" around C U Next Thursday's moves in the field. A gut-wrenching and heartbreaking true story. 12-1 Drunky Smurfs.
It must be noted that this was the longest game in kickball history. The next teams to play were both getting hammered on the sidelines impatiently waiting to take the field. If the game went any longer, alcohol poisoning was sure to set in. Luckily for the waiting teams, the bottom of the 4th was a quick one, but it wasn't without excitement. Shocking everyone in attendance, C U Next Thursday launched the ball into far left for an "in the park home run"...and the fans went wild! Unfortunately, that was it for the come back rally. Turn your hats back around folks. Inning over. 12-2 Drunk-a-Dunks.
The 5th Inning:
Drunk & Looking to Score some more took to the plate while C U Next Thursday trotted out to the field to start the top of the 5th. Clapping it out to "Glad You Came", the Drunks put two more runs up on the board with consecutive drives to right and a bunt. These two runs scored of course with a little help from C U Next Thursdays mandatory fielding errors. 14-2 Drunk.
Feeling an impending mercy rule coming on, Drunk & Looking to Score pumped themselves up for a quick 1, 2, 3 inning. The first kick was a short bunt landing a runner at 1st. (So much for that quick out inning). After a base kick to right, a long drive to left resulted in a double, leaving runners at both 2nd and 3rd. Intense right? Yeah, not so much. Out of nowhere someone in the outfield shouted "put em' in a body bag Johnny" and that was it. Three outs came right after. The mercy rule took effect and the game ended in a disappointing 14-2 score. Tough shakes for C U Next Thursday.
Photo Credits: Frohtography